Leadership is Feminine

WITH KRIS PLACHY

The Courage to Stop: A New Chapter in Leadership and Life

Nov 24, 2025

What if the bravest act of leadership is knowing when it’s time to pause?
In this deeply personal episode, Kris invites listeners into the raw, honest crossroads she’s currently  navigating—one marked by completion, uncertainty, and a longing for deeper, more human connection. After nearly 400 episodes, thousands of hours of recording, and decades spent teaching leaders how to lead, she shares the truth many high-achieving women rarely admit out loud: sometimes the thing we’ve mastered is the very thing we’re meant to release.

Kris reflects on how leadership hasn’t fundamentally changed—and on the bittersweet realization that she has said everything she came here to say. She talks openly about shifting away from the isolating online model that has defined the last several years and into work that brings her back into rooms, back into community, back into the presence she craves.

She also guides listeners through a powerful reframing of accountability—not as pressure, but as profound self-care. Because when we don’t follow through on the promises we make to ourselves, the weight of that avoidance becomes its own burden.

Here’s what we explore in this episode:

  • The emotional and practical reality of feeling “complete” in a long-standing body of work
  • Why accountability to yourself is one of the highest forms of self-care
  • The difference between knowing what to do and actually doing it
  • The discomfort, fear, and liberation of honoring the commitments you’ve ignored
  • What it means to pause with integrity, clarity, and agency

This episode is a pause, not a goodbye—a moment of truth-telling, gratitude, and trust in what comes next.

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Transcript

Well, hello, hello, hello. How are you? Welcome to the podcast. This is Kris Plachey. I am here to talk to you today as an extension of our accountability conversation that we had last week. But it was interesting. I was talking with Michelle about this podcast, and I pulled up my own history of podcasts, and I think we're well over. Well, we might be pretty close to 400, I'm not quite sure. And on so many of my podcasts, I talk about accountability.

But there's about. I think about nine, eight or nine podcasts specifically. If you search the podcast, focus specifically on accountability. And, you know, one of the things that. One of the reasons that I got into what I do is because I saw and still do a very honestly elegant and simple way to lead, to build a team, to set expectations, to meet with them, help them achieve their results that they've committed to, to give them feedback and ultimately hold one another accountable to achieve what we're all here to do. I. I really do believe it's quite elegant and quite simple. And I have thought as much for years, And there have been more times than not lately when I've sat down to record this podcast and really not known what else to say.

I feel as though I have completed my work here with you. I'm very proud of what is in this podcast. It has been since, like, 2014, I think I started. There's actually a whole other podcast that that isn't even currently available on iTunes that I recorded. That was 99 episodes. I have recorded thousands of hours to help my listeners be better, feel better, have more confidence, achieve better results in their lives and with their businesses and teams. And because I believe what I talk about is pretty simple and pretty elegant, I don't. I don't need to keep saying it for you to be better at it.

In fact, I think I risk. I risk it becoming ineffective. Because what I know does happen is the simplicity makes sense in the podcast, but then when you try and do something on your own, you don't. You don't feel strong in it. Right? And that's why so many of the women who have been podcast listeners have become clients, because then you need to have a real conversation with me, right? So I'm not really sure if. If I'm going to continue the podcast as it has been, and if it does continue, we're going to be taking it in a new direction. But just like so many people that I know, the truth is I don't actually know what that is yet. I think there's A lot of.

Well, I did the whole beyond the CEO episodes several months ago. I'm currently leading mini mastermind for clients who wanted to work with me through some of this, you know, business readiness, moving yourself into consultancy and advisory role instead of being in the operator role of your business. We're going to be looking at exit strategies and we're going to also be looking at mapping out your own mind bank and, and how you can start to capture more of your essence, not just your sops. And we're doing that live now in my mini mind. But I too am traversing this space. I have worked in leadership for 30 years. And it doesn't change much like the. You know, I, I think I might have referenced this on a previous podcast.

I'm not quite sure where I said it. I, I'm so in. I've been fascinated and also somewhat enraged, I guess a little bit. But regardless, it's so fascinating that I'm watching these people I know on LinkedIn who I've known for years, who when I was young were some of the people who inspired me to want to be better and teach people how to be more effective leaders because they were so bad at it. These are people who I worked with who were terrible known for it, terrible leaders. They were mean, power monkey, you know, blunt, blunt instruments. No finesse, no empathy. Right.

Which is now, now they're posting on LinkedIn about the importance of team and culture and you know, starts from the top and the top has. And I want to kind of throw up in my mouth a little bit. I'm not going to lie. But I'm. It always gets here is my point. And I am struggling with the art and science of leadership right now because what I know works and what I've always known works and has always. And I know if you and I were sitting across from each other, you would tell me works is that leaders who are effective, they demonstrate clarity they have and set clear expectations. They hold people accountable, they give feedback, they mentor and develop.

They have grace, they do have empathy. But they also have clear boundaries. They set examples, they model what they expect of others. That doesn't mean that they can do everybody's job, but they model the behaviors that they say that they you. But now you tell people some of this stuff, which is all categorized frankly as emotional intelligence that was created or, or coined, I should say, years ago. And now somehow that's, I don't know, woke leadership to demonstrate empathy, to be kind, invested. And so I know you as my listener agree with me, or you wouldn't be here. And I believe I've given you everything I can.

I have. I put everything that I have recorded here on the podcast, Every video I've recorded, every book I've written. I put it all into my artificial intelligence, my knowledge base. It's 2 million plus words. I know I have created content for you that if you apply it, will change the trajectory of your leadership, your business, and your life. Because I have all the evidence I need that proves that. And there does get to be, I think, a moment in our lives where we feel complete, even if we feel scared. I was talking to a girlfriend about this about, I don't know if I should continue to record my podcast.

I just, I feel like everything's been said, at least in this, on this subject. And so she said, well, then just don't do it anymore. And I feel this lump right in my throat because when I record this podcast, I see you, I imagine you listening. I, I ma. Because you've told me you're in your car, you're. You're cooking, you're. You share it with your colleagues, you listen sometimes with your teammates. I, I feel like I'm a part of your life.

And that's sad to me to think about not doing that. But one of the things I said to my Sage mini mastermind when we started on the very first day, I said, this will be my very last Zoom course. Zoom courses have served such a tremendous re, have made such a tremendous dent and created such a service to so many people, and especially when we hit Covid and we were all trapped inside. But I'm a people person. I'm an extrovert. And the business model that I have followed for all these years has driven me into isolation in ways that I'm not happy about. And so that's why when I created Sage, I started doing more events, more in person gatherings, and I'm going to continue to do that. And so my business model will be changing dramatically and will only involve in person connections or private coaching.

And that's a big shift that's also very scary. It's very scary for me to say that out loud even here, but I want to be with you. I want to learn with you. I want to help you live. I want to meet you. I want to look you in the eye. I want to, I want to share the space. Such.

It's such a different experience to be in the room together. Like I was just with my clients at Disneyland a couple weeks ago, like that. There's just nothing that replaces that. And because of the freneticness of the lives that we lead, even the most successful, powerful have great money and resources. Women say all the time, I don't have time to get away. But then as soon as they make the time, they realize how much they've been missing. But when all you have to do is pop on a zoom call, put your phone on your sound on silent and answer your email while you half listen, you feel like you've done something, but you haven't. You really haven't invested in yourself.

And I'm as much of that as anyone else. I get that every time I sign up to do something like that. I wish I hadn't because I remember. Oh I hate this. I hate one sided webinars. I hate not seeing all the people that are on the call because they, they don't usually let you see them. I want to be in a real room with real people. I want to talk to you at lunch.

I want to find out what, what, what are your kids names? I want to know what you're interested in. I want to be irritated by someone because sometimes someone sits next to you and is ir like I want to have the human experience and not this synthetic one. I know that much is true for me. That's a lot of change for me. It's been just a tremendous amount of change over the last couple of years and that is echoing into the work that I do and I don't have a clear vision yet. And I know that there's a lot of you listening to this that actually feel the same way. So I, I know I'm not alone, But I do believe it's time for a break. And so the ultimate in accountability.

And I recorded this podcast, there is a podcast that you can listen to with that is accountability is the highest form of self care. But when we, when we hold ourselves accountable, when we hold ourselves to account, we have to acknowledge our own like are we in integrity? Right? And I've said a lot of things to myself about what I do and don't want. One of the things I don't want, and I have said to myself now for several years that I no longer want is to run an online business. I want to run a business with people in person. And I also have shared everything I have to share with you about leading people. I still help my current clients solve their problems with their teams, with the conversations they need to have. But it's less that I'm teaching new topics and more that I'm just helping extract from you, from them what they need to do. I serve as a thinking partner, as an ally, as support, as reinforcement, as validation, role playing, but less like new content.

There's nothing new to say. If you know what you need, what you need to know, and you're not doing it, that's when you need a coach. And if you've been a long-time listener to this podcast, you know what you need to know. So if you're not doing it, then just hire a coach, hire me, hire someone to help you take the action you need to take, love. Because the weight of unexpressed act of unexpressed knowledge is unbearable when you know what you need to know and you don't take action, it's. It's depleting, it's exhausting. So I have to look at what, what have I, what have I said to myself that I am not holding myself accountable to? And that is part of this process.

And I have fear, right? Like everybody else does when it comes to ultimately holding yourself accountable to something. Maybe I don't want to eat sugar anymore, but, oh, I'll miss out on my grandmother's favorite cake at Christmas. Or maybe, and I have, but I have to decide what does. What matters to me. And when we actually do hold ourselves accountable to what we have said that we want, it is a form of self care, a huge form of self care. Even if it's terrifying. All of us have to acknowledge that we have unmet goals, unmet desires, unmet aspirations. And usually the reason that they have gone unmet is because of us not following through, is because of our own fear.

So self-accountability is the way forward, right? If I can hold myself accountable, it's so much easier to hold someone else accountable. But what have you. So what have you committed to yourself? What have you told yourself over and over and over and over and over again that you have not executed on? And in my case, this is it. Taking a break from this podcast is something I have suggested to myself too many times to continue to ignore it. Because if and when I show up in this space, I want to show up for you with a level of vision and passion that I know I'm capable of. And I know that the, that the voice that I have put to the work that I do, I believe I have done so very well. I'm very proud. And I also believe I am complete.

And so for now, I'm going to take a break, so if you'd like to stay in touch please go to www.thevisionary.CEO. You can add your name if you're not already a subscriber. You can continue to be subscribed to this podcast. Of course you can always listen to all the old episodes and when a new one pops in you'll get notified. And mostly, I want to thank you for everything, for listening, for laughing. I think that's what I've heard the most is you all laugh with me when I laugh. I can't believe I've done this podcast as long as I have. I never would have thought this would have been the case.

So let's just say it's a pause. I need a minute. I have my retreat in Hawaii at the beginning of the year, which I'm very much looking forward to and just like you, I have some thinking to do so I wish you all the best, my love. I'll talk to you again next time. Thanks for tuning in.

Here, leadership is feminine, equity is non-negotiable, and every woman’s growth is vital; not optional. We believe love is love—and the more love, the better. Spirituality is personal, and every individual has the right to choose their own path. We respect facts, laws, and systems that create clarity and fairness for all. And above all, we know that the point of being human isn’t to judge or divide, but to expand—through connection, experience, and honoring what makes us different.