When I was pregnant with twins, I asked my family not to call them twins.
It sounds irrational, I know. But the word âtwinsâ - with all its baggage about sameness, about being a unit, about losing individuality before they were even born - overwhelmed me. So I reframed it: I was having two children of mine at the same time.
Not twins. Two individuals who happened to share a womb, at the same time.
Iâve been thinking about that lately because I realize I do the same thing with masterminds.
I host a program called The Sage CEO. I lead retreats where accomplished women gather for deep transformational work. By every conventional definition, these are masterminds. But I resist calling them that - and Iâm very intentional about âwhyâ.
Because most masterminds have a fatal flaw: they erase the individual in service of the group.
The term âmastermindâ was coined to describe the exponential intelligence that emerges when brilliant minds work together. But somewhere along the way, it became about the group instead of the minds.
About belonging instead of thinking.
About cohesion instead of clarity.
About shared identity instead of individual sovereignty.
And hereâs the paradox: the women who would benefit most from a true mastermind are the ones who resist groups the most intensely.
Not because they donât like people. Not because theyâre not collaborative or generous or willing to learn from others.
But because they know themselves. They know that their growth cannot be standardized. They know the difference between collective wisdom and groupthink. They know that proximity to other powerful women can be clarifying, but only if they donât have to perform belonging in order to access it.
Most groups ask you to lose yourself in order to belong.
Theyâre poorly managed. The loudest voices dominate. The curriculum is designed for the median, so the women who are ahead get bored and the women who need something different get left behind. Thereâs pressure to participate in prescribed ways, to share before youâre ready, to adopt the groupâs language and identity.
This is the mastermind paradox: the format designed to amplify individual brilliance has become a mechanism for erasing it.
But there is a unique power that happens when women share the same room together.
Itâs just not the power of community. Itâs not the power of sisterhood or sameness or shared identity.
Itâs the power of witnessing and being witnessed.
Itâs seeing your own patterns reflected in another womanâs experience - without being told âweâre all the same.â
Itâs receiving wisdom that emerged from someone elseâs journey, knowing youâll metabolize it in your own way.
Itâs the relief of being in a room where no one is trying to make you smaller so the group can feel cohesive.
This is why I donât sell community.
The women who work with me in The Sage CEO arenât joining a mastermind in the conventional sense. Theyâre choosing to work with me - a guide, a sage, someone who can see them clearly and help them see themselves. Theyâre gathering with other women who have made the same choice, not because they want to belong to something, but because they understand that transformation happens faster in proximity to others doing the same work.
Theyâre sages and seers themselves. Healers and supporters. High-level achievers who are naturally drawn to doing great work with others without losing themselves in the process.
The learning is collective. The wisdom is shared. But the work remains deeply individual.
Two children, not twins.
Individual minds, not a mastermind.
Individuals having a shared and simultaneously unique experience.
If youâre seeking your own personal growth and transformation, be thoughtful about the mastermind you choose.
Ask yourself:
- Does this space honor my sovereignty, or does it require me to adopt a shared identity?
- Is this space about the leader or about the unique journey of the individuals?
- Has the facilitator continued to transform as well?
- Does the room feel welcoming or like youâve just walked up to the popular girls in high school?
- Will I be seen as an individual, or as a member?
- Is the learning adaptable to where I am, or standardized for where the group is?
- Can the facilitator match and manage the energy of a room filled with high achieving, Sage women?
- Am I here because I want to belong, or because I want to grow?
Because hereâs what I know after three decades of this work: the women who are capable of the deepest transformation are the ones who refuse to disappear into the collective.
They know their power comes from remaining themselves, even in a room full of other powerful women.
Especially in a room full of other powerful women.
If you'd like more information about The Sage CEO CLICK HERE.
